The Big Bopper/Transcript
opens up showing a view of the Frosty Mart. Boog is carrying Fanboy and Chum Chum by the underwear Fanboy: So I'm thinking, why call them "Sundae Toppings" when they work just as well on the bottom? Chum Chum: I like the way your mind works. door opens Hold that thought. Boog: Okay, I'm through with you dweebs for now. I'll bop you some more on my break. Sha-ka! F&C around, then throws them Chum Chum: So, what are your thoughts on whipped cream? Fanboy: Che! How much time do you have? hit the Frosty Freezy Freezy machine, Boog laughs. They then press the lever, allowing them to come out Fanboy: his knuckles Oh, boy! I thought Boog really brought his A-Wedgies today. Chum Chum: his back Oh, yeah! Got the kink right outta my back! It's like his fists are made of medicine. Boog: Uh, Lenny, I've been here for ten seconds, so already, WHY - are my hands not wrapped in hot towels? Lenny: Oh, hello, Boog! That sounds like a question for our new employee, Lemuel. small head peeks up next to him He'll be filling in for me on my first day off in five, stress-twitchy years! twitches So you can get him to steam your fists, and moisturize your cuticles. Cause I'll be spending all day in a nice, relaxing, doctor's office! he says this, he jumps over the counter and skips outside Ooh! Maybe my tests will be inconclusive and they'll keep me overnight for observation! leaves in the Frosty Mart... Boog: So, you're the new guy, huh? Tehe. Okay, noob! Let's start with the basics! starts to stand up. He isn't small at all Microwaving my mid-morning burrito. You probably think "press burrito", huh? But I found a "baked potato" setting. stands up, revealing he's a giant bulkhead man Uses a crunchier shell. Chum Chum: Oh, he's a big one. Boog: Next, let's talk presentation. About as you certaintly would suffice. No need to genuflect, I'm not a king. But any eye contact is forbidden! Now, run along, ye shall find me beyond the Chimp Chop. Laughs then bumps into Lemuel's back, he is playing Chimp Chomp Boog: gasp Chimp Chomp, why is your screen so dark and dungary-like? And why is there a zipper between your buttons?! Fanboy: Uh, because that's not Chimp Chomp, that's 'Lemuel playing Chimp Chomp. Boog: gasp I'm not sure what a Lemuel is, but nobody! Plays Chimp Chomp! But me! taps on Lemuel's back, but he turns around, angrily and growls at him. They begin to face-off against each other Fanboy: the show's audience Behold! Two bullies in the wild. Notice - the raised tackles and aggressive posture. When a new alpha male enters the watering hole! begins to act like Tarzan. Chimp Chomp beeps Chum Chum: The female is showing interest! Fanboy: Yes, Chum Chum, she'll choose a shooter after the battle is over. Isn't nature beautiful? motions for Lemuel to leave. Lemuel growls Boog: I'm gonna bop you so -- touches his fist, breaking his entire arm off Kiji! I-I-I lost my arm and everything! raises his fist Ahh! BOP! Lupe: Aye, boppee. starts to wake up. F&C loom over him Fanboy: Chum Chum See? I told you it was just a coma. Boog: a daze What am I doing on the floor? I'm supposed to be bopping that guy! Charges I'm gonna bop you so bad! BOP! Lupe: Aye, boppee. the school nurse's office, Boog wakes up on a patient's bed Boog: Ugh. What am I doing in this hospital bed?! I'm supposed to be bopping that guy!! school bus drives him back to the Frosty Mart. Boog runs off, Kyle and Chuggy stare at him in awe. Then as he runs into the Mart, Yo and Duke stare at him too Boog: I'M GONNA BOP YOU SO BAD!! BOP! Lupe: Aye, boppee. is lying on the ground of a parking lot, surrounded by a chalk outline of him Boog: Oh, what am I doing in this white outline?!? I'm supposed to be bopping that guy!!! I'M GONNA BOP YOU SO BAD!!! Chum Chum: Should we tell him? Fanboy: He'll be back. Hopscotch? has turned Boog's outline into a hopscotch setting gets bopped yet again. He then flies out the door Boog: Whoa! the outline Oh...ah...oh...I don't get it. Why do I keep waking up in different places? Fanboy: a rock on his face Because you're one of us now, Boog! You're a boppee! Boog: A bop-pee? What's that? Fanboy: Chum Chum! while Chum Chum salutes Visuals! Chum brings down a picture of Lemuel bopping Boog Fanboy: In life, there are boppers and boppees. Now, a bopper bops. A boppee gets bopped. A bopper bops a boppee, but a boppee cannot bop a bopper. Now, if a bopper gets bopped by a bigger bopper, the bopper stops bopping and becomes a boppee... talking can't take it Boog: To fast for me! the picture I am no boppee! I am the unboppable, bop-stoppin', bopper! And I'm gonna bop the bop with that bop! Um... screams as he flies into the Frosty Mart. Lemuel growls and bops him again, while Boog screams Boog: Nonononono, I can't fit inside of the -- walk up to the door while Boog walks out in a Frosty Freezy Freeze cup Boog: Okay, consider this a cry for help. HEEEEEEELLLLLLP!!! faints Boppee Universityyyyyy! Fanlair is transformed into a school Fanboy: Welcome to the Boppee Training Academy. Or as we like to call it: "The School of Hard Bops". Everyone, please say hello to our newest boppee, Boog. Fankylechum/Michael/Yo/Chris Chuggy/Lupe/Chum Chum: Hi, Boog! Boog: Actually, I'm not really sure if I belong here. You see, I'm really more of a bop-per. Fanboy: Riiiiiight. Still think you're a bopper? Well, Bop Quiz, hot shot! a nerd I'm just a helpless, dweeb hurring to chess club. Normal What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? Boog: I probably warm up with a couple of noogies, them move onto some twisty burns. finger Then finish you off with a double dip poodle doodle. Fanboy: I invite you to try. laughs as Fanboy sheds his disguise Boog: up to Fanboy, readies his fist and constantly bops his face Bop! Huh? Bop! Hmm? Bop! Huh? Bop! Geez, I don't understand. Why isn't my poodle doodling? Like a doodle should? Fanboy: Stop trying to poodle me and POODLE ME! Boog: Haha! his face constantly Wha - ? him making him laugh, then gives up I'm confused - as to why - this is not working. Ke - bop, bop, bo, bo. It's like - punching a pillow made of - bo - air. faints Fanboy: That's because your strength is useless against me. For I have chosen a path...of weakness. Boog: Ohhhhh! presses a remote. A giant fist bops Boog Boog: Ow! Dat hurt! Fanboy: Yes. And it will continue to hurt. until you learn the way of the wimp! shifts to the students and Boog marching. F&C monitor this. Fanboy motions to Chum Chum to tell him something Chum Chum: You call that slouching?!? My grandmother hutches better than you! Stand up crooked, chest in, eyes down! Now, drop and give me two and a half push-ups! (Song: The Bop Song) Ah, you can bop-bop-bop, bop-bop-a-rama, you can bop them nerd, bop em a banana You can boodle-doodle, when you noodle, but I clean my clock and I can dance in papoodle Never bop-bop-bop, bop-bop-a-rama, never bop-bop-bop, bop-bop-bop-bop-bop around You can bop-bop-bopabop all over the face, never bang their hands all over in the top of the face You can bop-bop-bop, bop em like a member, now I'll let em by me and I'll make them super member Never bop-bop-bop, bop-bop-bop em again (and nobody stop them) A-ba-ba-bop-bop-bop, bop-bop a doodle, buh-buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-buh-buh badoodle Buh-buh-nuh-nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh-nuh nuhdoodle, a-ba-ba-bop-bop-bop, bop-bop a doodle Buh-buh-foo-fah-foh, foo-fap-fadoodle, ah-ah-ee-ee-ah, ah-oh-ah-aoodle Ah-ah-bee-bee-buh, buh-buh-baboodle, buda-buh-buh-buh, buh-buh-buh-baa! shifts back to the Frosty Mart. Boog is dressed as a nerd Fanboy: Ah, your first day as a boppee, Boog. How exciting! three peek into the window and spy Lemuel playing Chimp Chomp Fanboy: Here's what I'm thinking. leave the window We'll let Lemuel bop us for an hour, maybe two, say how he's feeling. Then, when he's icing down his fists, we get to play Chimp Chomp for two minutes! Boog: All that for only two minutes?!? Chum Chum: Yeah. But with broken fingers, it feels like twenty! You'll see! approaches Lemuel, with F&C trailing him Fanboy: Oh, hi, Lemuel. Nice to see you. Just a friendly heads-up, turns around Boog here will be joining us together on the receiving end of your fists. Chum Chum: Boog? Isn't there something you wanna say? Boog: I - wanna be - punched. Fanboy: Well then, shall we begin? laughs and punches Boog's head, releasing a "BOP!" cloud into the sky Lupe: Aye, boppee. twisted F&C fall back and hit a trash can with Boog in it '' '''Fanboy:' This is going well. Boog: out of the trash can Going well?! I can't take this! I'm not like you boys! I've got too much - I don't know, dignity. out of the trash can Chum Chum: Nonsense, you look completely weak and pathetic. Don't be so hard on yourself. Fanboy: Yeah, let Lemuel do that. Boog: I'm sorry, his nerd look my boppee journey ends right here. I have to go. Chum Chum: But - but - what about Chimp Chomp? You love that machine. Boog: With every inch of my bruised body. Chum Chum: Then, isn't she worth, not guiding for? Fanboy: Come on, don't you wanna show that bully who's boss? Boog: at Lemuel Would I really wanna do...is BOP THE MOP RIGHT OFF HIS TOP! Chum Chum: But you can't. remember our motto. Boppers bop... Boog: I know. And boppees get bopped. Yeah! That's right! I can't bop that guy, but I can bop a boppee. Remember that technique you had for taking a boot? Chum Chum: Remember it? We invented it! Boog: Do you mind showing me again? One last time? throws Chum Chum up in the air and he sucks his body in. Fanboy then catches Chum Chum and holds onto him. Boog kicks Chum Chum. Shouting, Chum Chum hits the wall and bounces into Lemuel, knocking him to the ground headfirst '' '''Boog:' Sweet! And what was that technique for surviving a wedgie? Fanboy: Clench and wiggle! spins Fanboy around and throws him. Shouting, Fanboy knocks Lemuel onto his back Boog: 'Beautiful! ''a moment, Lemuel is dazed, then he stands up in a godzilla-esque sort of way '''Boog: Prepare to taste my nerdchucks. holds up F&C foot to foot, spins and flips them around and throws them at a charging Lemuel. They hit him, knocking him out the door. Lemuel gets sad and begins crying Boog: That's right! The big bopper is back on topper! laughs I'm even rhyming again. laughs Chomp beeps Boog: Chimp Chomp! Oh, Chimp Chomp, my Chimp Chomp, hold me and never let me go. the machine Chum Chum: Hey, where's Lemuel? This place is a mess. door opens, Lenny returns Lenny: Good news! All my organs require transplants! Boog: Oh, Lenny. You're back. Hey, if I don't get a burrito in ten seconds, you're gonna need a hand transplant. Lenny: Wait, where's Lemuel? runs down the street, crying Lenny: Wait! Lemuel! Come back! in the mart, Boog proceeds to continue playing Chimp Chomp Boog: laughing Fanboy: Boy. I thought Boog was getting the hang of it. But he didn't learn anything! And neither did I. the audience And neither did you. and Chum Chum wave Goodbye, everybody! The less you know Category:Transcripts